I’ve worked with kids as a teacher and as an entertainer for almost twenty years now and I see shy kids like me on a daily basis. They’re not the ones singing and dancing and mixing it up with the crowd. They’re the ones close at their parents’ sides, sitting quietly. At first glance they may seem a little bored or disengaged but the fact is they’re taking it all in – logging all the sights and sounds for future use.
Those shy kids are often the ones that get home and put on a concert for their parents, their siblings and maybe a few stuffed animals. They sing, they dance and know all the words. They perform with joy and abandon because they are in a safe place surrounded by supportive people. They are in their comfort zone.
The truth is we all have our comfort zones-- kids and adults alike. And, most of us have our shy zones too. The real trick is finding that comfort zone, however small it may seem at first, and expanding from there. I started out singing to my mom in the kitchen as she made dinner. My singing and my songwriting were pretty awful at first but I had a safe place to try it all out. My mom’s smile and encouraging words in those early days made it possible for me to do what I do now.
As parents, teachers, entertainers, aunts, uncles and grandparents we so desperately want to help our shy little friends open up because we know how much they have to offer the world. I’m no expert. Really, I’m still just a shy kid taking it all in but I would offer up to everyone that we can best help the shy kids in our lives by simply providing that safe, loving, encouraging place. The confidence and self-esteem that you are fostering may not instantly make your shy kid the life of the party but, trust me, that comfort zone is growing.